PETER’S FIRST MIRACLE: A meditation on Matthew 14, by Joseph Wakim
It was dusk. Jesus had just fed the multitudes with loaves and fishes. He asked his apostles for some time alone to grieve the beheading of his cousin John. He instructed them to take the boat and wait for him on the other side of the Sea of Galilee.
As night fell, Jesus prayed alone on the mountain while wild winds struck the sea. The apostles in their boats were being tossed about in the middle of the sea and could not reach the other side. They could not row forwards because it was contrary to the oncoming wind, and they could not row back because it was contrary to his instructions.
What if he was already on the other side and waiting for them?
The apostles had just witnessed another miracle and knew that he was supernatural. But this wild storm on this dark night did not bode well. They were languishing in the middle of the sea, languishing between the natural and the supernatural, languishing between faith and fear.
If he was the son of God, how could he abandon them like this? Did he not know that their lives were in peril and that they could all drown at sea?
Then, through the darkness the apostles saw what looked like a radiant Jesus walking towards them on the water. They were petrified and thought this was a ghost. Jesus knew exactly what they were feeling in their hearts and called out, ‘Yes it is I! Be not afraid!’
Peter, the most experienced fisherman among them, dropped the oars of the boat, and responded to Jesus, ‘If it is really you, call out my name! Tell me that I can walk on water, like you. Then I will obey!’
The other apostles could not believe that Peter was prepared to abandon them. He had surrendered the steering of the perilous boat and pledged to surrender his life to Jesus, here and now.
‘Come, Peter!’ beckoned Jesus, with an outstretched hand.
‘He called me by my name!’ pondered Peter. ‘It is the Lord and I will go to him now!’
Fixing his gaze on the outstretched hand of Jesus, Peter stripped off his outer garments and stepped off the boat, onto the stormy sea. The apostles looked on in astonishment at his courage and his unquestioning faith.
In the chaos they wondered – why not wait for Jesus to reach the boat? Why not row the boat to Jesus? Why was Peter taking this literal leap of faith to go to Jesus?
Peter took his first step, fixing his gaze on Jesus. He was now oblivious to the wild weather and to the waves that were as tall as he.
He took his second step, advancing closer to Jesus. Both his senses and his common sense were overridden by his rock solid faith. He hardly blinked as he could now almost see the saturated face of Jesus.
He took the third step, and could now see the smile on the face of Jesus. He could hear Jesus encouraging him, ‘You’re doing it Peter! This is walking by faith!’
Jesus opened his outstretched hand and Peter was exuberant. They were both glowing.
Peter took his fourth step. A wave washed over him like a slap in the face.
He blinked. His senses were alerted. He glanced down and could see his feet were floating on water. His skin could feel the water dripping off his body. His ears could hear the wild wind whistling all around him. His lips could taste the salty spray that surrounded him. He could smell his own fear welling up inside him as he came to his senses.
He was defying the natural laws, and his fear was now defying his faith.
He took his fifth step, but his right foot submerged under the water. He panicked and glanced up to find Jesus, who was now obscured by the waves. He wiped his eyes and called, ’Where have you gone, Lord? I can’t see you anymore!’
He took his sixth step, with his left foot, and it too sank into the water. His eyes were now fixed on his sinking feet. He was losing his balance and his bearings. He waved his arms and cried out, ’Lord! I am drowning! Save me!’
Peter had fallen knee-deep. Not only was his body sinking, but his heart was too. He lost his compass to Jesus and became disoriented. He could no longer see the boat, nor Jesus, nor any shore.
He took his seventh step, under water, only to sink deeper. Even his knees had disappeared. Another wave washed over him and he was now panicking about drowning. He saw his life flash past him. He felt that no one could hear his calls, as he could not hear his own voice over the roaring storm.
‘Lord, I can’t see your face! I can’t hear your voice! I can’t feel your hand! I can’t sense your presence!’ he despaired. ‘What have I done to deserve this, Lord?’
He took his eighth step, kicking frantically, deeper under water, and felt his body descending to his waist. Now everything was going dark.
With all the strength he could muster, he closed his eyes and cried out in his trembling voice, ‘Lord, save me!’
He felt a firm hand grasp his own. He opened his eyes and looked up. Through the water, he could see the radiant face of Jesus gazing down on him. Peter used both hands to raise himself up to embrace Jesus.
‘Lord, where did you go?’ Peter pleaded. ‘I was looking for you everywhere!’ His salty tears were washed away by the salty sea.
He took his ninth step, this time on top of the water, fixing his gaze firmly on the face of Jesus.
‘Peter’, replied Jesus, ‘where did you go? You took your eyes off my face, and looked down at your feet’. Now Peter dared not blink.
‘But I could not see you when the waves…’ began Peter to justify himself. Jesus shook his head and smiled, ‘But I could see you. When you called my name, did I not raise you up?’
Peter took his tenth and final step, with Jesus, this time onto the boat. The storm subsided and the wind became calm. The trembling apostles could no longer stand. They fell to their knees before Jesus and declared, ‘truly, you are the Son of God!’
Then Peter cried out, shivering and kissing the feet of Jesus, ‘Sorry Lord … I was … afraid…’
Jesus placed his hand on Peter’s head and said, ‘I know your heart. You doubted. Let your faith stand tall. It will drown your fear’.
At dawn, their boat reached the other side of the sea.
Their journey, and indeed ours, is a turbulent test of faith. We yearn for the hand, the voice and face of Jesus, especially in the stormy sea, and he may be obscured by crashing and cruel waves. But he is there, floating not sinking, waiting not forsaking, beckoning us by name, inviting us to the banquet on the other side, transcending all the laws of nature, which he himself created.
This was Peter’s first miracle, the stations of his first cross.
And more miracles are promised when we walk by faith, nor by sight.
Like Peter, we will greet Jesus without our outer garments, without our boat, without our kin. Alone, we will face the radiant light of love who is brighter than the lightning of any storm that passes on our way to the other side of the sea.