First published in Sight Magazine, 28 May 2025
https://sightmagazine.com.au/this-life/this-life-not-drowning-praying/
“‘Lord, if it’s you,’ Peter replied, ‘tell me to come to you on the water.’
‘Come,’ he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’ – Matthew 14:22-33 (NIV)
I recently challenged myself to swim to the yellow buoys which were about 500 metres off the beach, marked ‘no boats’.
At first, I kept my eyes fixed on those yellow triangles as they gradually enlarged in my view. As I approached my goal, the sound of my human paddles increased in pitch like pebbles on a lake. I tried to fix my gaze until the rising waves obscured the bopping triangles.
“Perhaps this is what happened to Peter when he attempted to walk on water to the beckoning hand of Jesus, his senses initially over-ridden by his rock-solid faith.”
I became disoriented. Panic set in and fear flooded my focus. There are no lifeguards on this beach. What if I get a cramp? What if I scream out to the nearest boats but my voice is drowned out by their motors?
Perhaps this is what happened to Peter when he attempted to walk on water to the beckoning hand of Jesus, his senses initially over-ridden by his rock-solid faith. A wave may have slapped Peter, shifting his gaze to his sinking body. Panicky Peter was rescued, but not without another slap “you of little faith – why did you doubt?”
My own confidence also wavered as I tried to splash away all the fears with different swimming strokes. The dog paddle was pathetic in the growing current so I switched to breaststroke where my whip kick could propel me faster, like a frog. But I was gulping too much water with each plunge so I geared up to freestyle.
My fear of submerging my head strained my neck and I could feel my body tensing. I gave up on the triangles, flipped over and resorted to back stroke so I could breathe. I gazed up at the cirrocumulus cloud formation above me, resembling fish scales, a mirror image above me of the sea beneath me.
Why am I here? I am not a boat, dog, frog or fish!
I tried deep breaths to arrest the accelerating palpitations. I turned my gaze to the eternal sky beyond the temporary passing clouds. In a surreal moment, everything seemed to move in slow motion.
Without thinking, my arms floated outwards and my legs stopped kicking. Without thinking, my shallow breathing became deeper. Without thinking, I assumed the position of absolute surrender – the crucifix.
Then it dawned on me: the only position that saved my life and conquered my fear in the water was the crucifix – the symbol of my faith.
After I regained my breath and my perspective, I reached my triangular milestone. But this was now incidental to the real epiphany. The symbol that claimed the last breath of Jesus at the crucifixion is now a symbol that restores our breath and indeed saves our life.
Joseph Wakim is an author (Australian Christian Book of the Year finalist) and independent columnist (UN Association Media Award finalist). He loves bringing a Middle Eastern cultural lens to insights on Jesus.