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Treasure the moments you capture

TREASURE THE MOMENTS YOU CAPTURE
Brisbane Courier Mail
17 January 2012

Has the rise of the digital age seen the fall of the printed photo?

We can now snap away with our mobile phones, save on virtual photo albums, upload to Facebook, share instantly and globally, zoom and crop, even Photoshop.

The digital revolution has literally put all this power in the palm of our hands.

And there are many virtues to these virtual albums. They save paper, save ink, save space, save money and save time.

Some photos are permanently saved on websites in cyberspace, and unlike printed photos, their original quality never diminishes.
Gone are the days of my weekly visits to the corner chemist who would take my roll of film and print every
photo, only some of which would make it into the family photo albums.

Gone are the days of sitting in physical photo shops trying to edit and print enlargements to be framed, so that the photos are looking at me rather than me looking for them.

But there is a down side to uploading.

With almost annual upgrades to mobile phones, many photos and videos are being deleted to ‘save space’ or not transferred to a new SIM card. If they were not shared, those magical moments are gone forever.

When I was a social worker, photo albums were a pivotal prompt in marriage counselling and preventing youth suicide. Photos tended to be taken on happy occasions and provide undeniable evidence of ostensibly happy days. Of course, such smiling faces could also mask an inner disquiet and could compound the pain of ‘what went wrong?’ But these
albums helped save marriages, fanning the embers left by the original flames of love, so that they can shine through the overshadowing dark clouds.

The therapeutic power of photo albums and family videos was evident when I became widowed and I would wake up to the sound of my children laughing (not crying) as they replayed family videos and remembered their mother’s life (not death). So much so that I have transferred all videos to DVDs before their original quality erodes any further.

With the recent passing of my father after a decade of Alzheimers, the recent memory of watching a mountain man slowly regress to a dependent infant was overwhelming. But our family grief was again buoyed by the therapeutic power of photos and videos – the way he deserved to be remembered.

Without these vivid reminders, only this shrinking candle would be etched in the memory of his children,
grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

At times of funerals, photo albums and family videos are dusted off like some vintage wine, instantly increasing in value and attracting centre stage like some precious jewel to be preserved and protected.

With other major milestone events such as birthdays and anniversaries, slide shows of the happiest memories continue to be the life of the party.

While the nostalgic gathering around tangible photo albums may be replaced with two-dimensional images on screens, we need to be careful that all the clicks are not habitually deleted with each upgrade. While the focus has shifted to sharing them with others, we need to remember that we are bottling a spirit that we may one day need to drink.

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Finding peace amid sensory overload

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/opinion/wakim-finding-peace-amid-sensory-overload/story-e6freai3-1226226136202

The Advertiser
December 20, 2011

My induction as a Twitterer evoked religious parallels. We become followers of those seeking to maximise their following, and their tweets follow us.

MULTI-TASKING is no longer the dominion of one gender or one generation. Like many screen-agers, my children boast about this “multi-tasking”, juggling multiple screens.

They can send and receive with great dexterity – texting on a mobile phone, while completing a school project on the computer screen, while glancing at the TV screen in the background.

A computer may freeze when too many programs are operating concurrently, or if it is being driven too fast.

But we expect our God-made brains to evolve faster than our man-made technology.

This mismatch was identified last century by scientific genius Albert Einstein when he declared that “it has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity”.

Our real world mimics the virtual world, as our eyes scroll like a mouse, minimising and maximising the multiple screens that surround us.

This multi-focal lifestyle has also become hazardous for parents, who feel hypocritical criticising their children.

Even on a beautiful day, we wind up our car windows so that we can hear the cell phone, the Navigator and the sound system.

Like our children, we see the world through windows, so we cannot hear the bird tweets or smell the roses, literally and metaphorically.

It begs bigger questions: When was the last time that we totally focused on one task? Where does this tunnel of windows lead? What does this bombardment of external stimulation block out?

There does not appear to be any spiritual enlightenment at the end of this endless tunnel. Yet all things spiritual need us to “be still” and focus on our internal light.

I pretend this stillness happens before I sleep, but the phone and laptop screens even follow me there as my “second brain” never sleeps. Even as I sleep, I am still not still, but “on call”.

My recent induction as a Twitterer evoked religious parallels – we become followers of those seeking to maximise their following, and their tweets can follow us everywhere we go.

As we become saturated with these snappy screen messages, we may inadvertently be clicking “unfollow” to the eternal voice which transcends technology and whispers to our soul. Ironically, Christian followers of the holy spirit would know that during the baptism of Jesus, it was also depicted as a bird.

Have we become sheep and allowed the tweets of the blue bird to drown out this white dove?

Technology is not the inherent problem, as it can be used or abused.

Clergy have embraced Facebook and Twitter to send spiritual messages to their flock once a day rather than a homily once a week.

In order to “be still”, we need to shut down many screens and windows. Paradoxically, high-speed signals to our sensors from these inter-connected technologies may insulate us from the inner peace that comes with stillness.

Without trivialising the debilitation of MS, I worry that this spiritual disconnect will lead to multiple screen-osis of our central spiritual system, as the accumulated and chronic status of sensory overload precludes us from the state of stillness.

We can choose to un-busy ourselves so that next time we are asked how we are, the answer is: “At peace”.

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A little extra Christmas care

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/3744040.html

A little extra Christmas care
Joseph Wakim and Judy Saba

As families congregate around carols and trees, and the aerial view of society resembles many rotating wheels, those who have fallen off the wheels become the loneliest dots.

Thankfully, there are many benevolent services for homeless people. I sang carols for a Christmas lunch for homeless people last year. It was heartening to see the aloneness broken and these dots inter-connect to form circles.

But one can be lonely without being alone. And this dark pain can be overshadowed by the fairy lights and tinsel. The annual celebration of the holy birth at the nativity could also be the time of pondering the end of a life.

Suicidal Christmas may seem like an oxymoron, but for those involved in its prevention, it is a fatal combination.

It is a time when one can hear one’s own heartbeat pounding in one’s head, and the ears ringing like sirens, and one’s life flash past, while the rest of the world seems so caught up in expressions of love that they are oblivious to these ticking time bombs.

And when it tragically happens, there is gnashing of teeth, and a slow motion rewind for all the clues that were missed before the blame game creates lifelong ripple effects.

When I worked as a street worker with runaway children, I convinced myself that so long as the children experienced unconditional love, at least from me, then they were immune from suicide. But I was wrong.

Feeling loved by others was like a hug – a temporary bandaid that was effective only while you were together. But the bleeding wound was the lack of self-love. That hole in the heart cannot be healed by outsiders.

At funerals, loved ones agonise to find peace by trying to answer one question – why?

The countdown to Christmas is a critical time to reach out to the lonely hearts, even in our own families and social networks. As we accelerate towards our self-imposed deadlines, we may speed past some subtle cries for help.

Subtle means that they are not moods posted on Facebook, or angry threats of suicide.

Depending on the culture and customs, we can all be prone to misinterpret and miss these alarm bells.

A person who suddenly decides to visit relatives and thank them for nostalgic childhood memories may be applauded with ‘he is finally learning to show respect for his elders – isn’t this wonderful?’. But he was actually preparing his farewells.

A person who stops going out with friends at night and instead withdraws to his bedroom may be applauded with ‘finally he has outgrown that dangerous stage and stopped wasting money with late nights – isn’t it wonderful that he now stays at home with his family?’. But he has actually started to close in on himself.

A person who starts to give away personal and favourite belongings to others may be applauded with ‘he takes after his father – isn’t this wonderful that he has become so generous?’ But he was actually parting from all worldly possessions.

A person who declares his unconditional love may be applauded with ‘he will grow up to be a fine man who is not afraid to express emotions’. But he was actually saying goodbye.

With Year 12 results announced, and anniversaries of many natural disasters last year, this is a time when self-love may be tested.

This Christmas, we can all give the gift of saving a life, by giving presence rather than presents. The Friends of Friends Mentor project in Sydney is one program that offers volunteers who regularly call and check on vulnerable youth with whom they are partnered. After years of success and suicide prevention, the beneficiaries have now become mentors. All the training in the world cannot surpass the power of just being a friend. No simplistic tick-box checklists apply. Just making the person believe that they are worthy of this time, and worthy of self-love.

If we join the dots and see what shape they form, we may see that some have trapped themselves into an inescapable circle where they are cutting out oxygen, light and hope. Through the power of presence, we can help.
Joseph Wakim is a freelance writer and former Multicultural Affairs Commissioner. Judy Saba is a cross-cultural psychologist.

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Marriage remains sacred

Published in National Times, 8 December 2011

http://bit.ly/uf2mXV

Marriage remains sacred even if gays are allowed in

The empowerment of ”people of the rainbow” need not represent Armageddon for ”people of the book”.

I dreaded the vision of a rabbi, cardinal and mufti standing shoulder to shoulder to block the prospective passage of same-sex marriage laws by our federal parliament.

I dreaded even more the abandonment of the Catholic voice left to fly the monotheistic flag alone.
Theologically, Jews, Christians and Muslims share a homogenous heterosexual definition of marriage, based on their sacred scriptures and their human interpretations.

In much of the heated online chats about this issue, I sensed a vindictive tone against Christians, blamed for centuries of homophobia, blamed for condemning fellow humans to a loveless life and lonely death, blamed for blaming fellow humans for their sexual orientation, blamed for playing judgmental god but neglecting godly compassion. The temperature is so high that Christians are better off praying rather than saying, otherwise they will be spat out like popcorn in boiling oil.

For those making most noise about this issue, it is a no-brainer. It has been successfully rebranded as a question of voting yes for equality and no to discrimination. It has been couched in a string of historic human rights struggles for minorities, be they black, indigenous or disabled. There are no logical counter-arguments, and anyone who dares will risk being rendered an endangered minority.

The debate is not about what the religious institutions can and cannot do. Their status and sanctity of marriage remains sacred and untouched. They can ”value add” to the marriage certificate that is issued by the state.
In churches, synagogues and mosques, marriage is far more than a civil union. It is a holy sacrament, with a divine blessing. It is not just a vow between two but three entities, including God. Anyone who has ever attended religious wedding ceremonies will be aware that it is steeped in rich layers of tradition, rituals, symbols, liturgy and songs. These sacred aspects may explain why ”people of the book” are precious about the word marriage, and prefer that it be reserved and patented exclusively for religious ceremonies.

The religious value-adds do not render their marriages more fail-proof. Pre-marriage classes are increasingly compulsory to test the lifelong commitment ”until death do us part” before it is made.

Standing in the path of these laws on religious grounds is neither courageous nor moral. It is foolish. For a start, most of those supporting law reform are heterosexual. For those who have dared to juxtapose the law of God against the proposed law of the land, their weak arguments and ”thou shalt not” quotations have reinforced the black-and-white backwardness of ”people of the book”, rather than the universal and embracing love that emanates from the creator.

For example, Jesus literally embraced many marginalised minorities in his short life, such as prostitutes, tax collectors, Roman soldiers and lepers. How can we be so sure that he would not have embraced others of pure heart? When challenged by Pharisees about the law of Moses and ”it is written”, Jesus often redefined priorities and proclaimed new laws, such as love prevailing over the 10 commandments. How can we be so sure that he would have drawn the line in the sand about marriage?

Even Jesus respected and accepted the laws of the Roman Empire, but asked his followers to give to God what is God’s. The healthy separation of ”church” from state means that citizens have the right to obtain two marriage certificates, one from church and one from state. They can choose to observe all the sacraments of their faith, such as baptism, bar mitzvah and male circumcision, and the state does not interfere. The state can choose to expand its definition of marriage, and the clergy should not interfere. After all, it is becoming a decision of conscience.

In an age where defactos, affairs and divorces are on the rise, it is ironic that marriage is sought by those who ”bat for the other team”.

I recently saw a neighbour whose partner died. When I shared my story about my wife and being a widower, it was clear that there was no ”other team” when it came to things that mattered most. Who was I to judge or dismiss his profound pain as a fellow human being?

Like creation, none of us are born black and white. Even us people of the book should step aside for the rainbow to reign, and love to reign over fear, and leave the rest to conscience and the creator.

Joseph Wakim is a freelance writer. He is a former Victorian multicultural affairs commissioner.

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Wow! Factor deleted from the wired-up world of screenagers

‘Wow!’ factor deleted from the wired-up world of screenagers
Published in The Age on 5 January 2011
http://bit.ly/hxhet7

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Life’s simple pleasures seem lost in our kids’ digital drowning.

THE chorus of whingeing children fell silent, their faces blank. It was as if something had died at the very time when most magical moments were made – the summer holidays!

What happened to that spark of passion for life? Even the unwrapping of Christmas gifts and watching the New Year’s Eve fireworks failed to elicit a ”Wow!” from this screen-savvy sample of children.
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Every suggestion from my list of boredom-busters was dismissed with shrugs of apathy.
They could not be ”bothered” flying a kite, baking a dessert, exploring with a magnifying glass, planting strawberries, borrowing books from the local library, researching their family tree, playing chess or learning card tricks – simple pleasures in which money is no barrier.

Apparently, these veterans had ”been there, done that”, either at school or vicariously, having watched it on some screen somewhere. Although they were rich with opportunities and technologies, they seemed so poor in imagination and spontaneity.

By the time these children become teenagers, they are wired up for a plethora of contradictions and ”iRonies”. In his 1997 book Playing the Future, American author Douglas Rushkoff coined the term ”screenager” to describe this generation.

They will have more communication technologies than ever before, yet communicate with family members less than ever. Parents may need to log in to check their screenager’s ever-changing emotional ”status”.

The social network Facebook actually becomes anti-social as addicts rely more on their hands to communicate via a keyboard. Worse, Facebook sucks up time that used to be given to book reading. Despite access to more TV channels and faster media than that available to past generations, the word ”bored” continues to replace the word ”Wow!”

The latest gadgets are ironically coded with an honest prefix: iPhone, iPod Touch, iPad, iTunes. Marketed as social tools to get connected, they really are more about personal entertainment for a self-centred I than a shared social space for We.

While the screenagers are switched on to numerous applications simultaneously, they are switched off from the real world in their immediate family environment. Conversations are treated as intrusive interruptions to more urgent cyber-chat.

They may be watching a repeat of an American sit-com about families and relationships in 2D, but are oblivious to some similar 3D situations a few footsteps away from their iSpace. A sobbing sibling or a visitor’s doorbell can be reduced to white noise. Why watch a rerun of Friends on YouTube if you can have real friends drop in to your real couches and share a real ”Wow!” moment?

They become unconnected from other problems such as the fair distribution of chores in a family home. In my family, watching a 30-minute American sit-com is equivalent to doing all our day’s dishes, ironing and laundry. Now that’s a wow statistic!

The constant gazing at screens produces a hypnotic trance akin to a drug addict. The digital drug tells the screenagers: “Don’t go away. Stay right there. We’ll be right back”, so even the advertisements are compulsory, even if nature calls.

Withdrawal symptoms can be experienced when these toys are unplugged. The drum-roll promotions of television shows ”coming soon” is so inflated with the wow factor that it ironically leaves the viewer feeling all deflated and wowed out.

As a widowed parent, I could understand the experiment conducted by a fellow sole parent of three teenagers. In Winter of our Disconnect, Susan Maushart describes her family’s ”self-imposed exile from the Information Age”.

After six months of this digital detox, they found that “having less to communicate with, her family is communicating more”.

Imagine the melodic wow factor of returning home and not hearing the monotonous tapping of keypads. Imagine the smileys in SMS messages were no longer imitations of real life but real smiles beaming from the real faces of your children. Imagine the resuscitation of the wow factor in your family.

The wow factor is now an endangered species, in need of protection and rejuvenation.

We should not need to drip-feed the wow factor intravenously. A simple start is if screenagers looked out their own windows in their own neighbourhood rather than the windows of a computer.

Parents can lead by example by pursuing their own passions and inviting their children to participate. This could involve making music, learning massage or planting herbs.

When their peers were envious of our quality time, dad became dude!

So, parents, please don’t despair. Your screenagers need you. They have data and information, but you have knowledge and wisdom. Rescue them from a digital drowning and open their eyes to the wonders of life that have always led humans to sing a chorus of wows.

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Importing Islam from America

Importing Islam from America

Published on The Drum, ABC Online, 37 June 2011
http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/2773442.html#

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When Jesus is pitched against Mohamad, the winner may be APN Outdoor billboards.

The bold billboards spreading across Sydney by MyPeace inviting us to ask questions about Islam may be a novelty in Australia. But the wording and web-site is a carbon copy of the GainPeace missionary outreach project that was launched in Chicago in 2008. Our Australian version may be a timely cross (pun intended) between MySpace and GainPeace.

As part of the Islamic Circle of North America, and in the ruins of the Islamophobia tsunami that flowed after the September 11 attacks, GainPeace felt compelled to explain that “Islam is not synonymous with terrorism”.

Founder of the Australian equivalent MyPeace, Diaa Mohammad, confirms that this is borne out of frustration because Muslims “cannot reach Australians through mainstream media”. Unlike the ‘mediated accounts’, this project was “an act of desperation to find some other avenue to have their voice heard… because they’re trying to reach out to people directly”. Fed up with the negative banner headlines, MyPeace paid to create its own.

Diaa is brave to blame his own community for the misconceptions and embark on this quest to demystify Islam. But his benevolent intentions may backfire with malevolent results, as we have already seen with the recent vandalism.

Like GainPeace, he offers a toll free hotline, free translated Korans, and invites us to “converse live with Muslims… no question is off limits”. His four week billboard series commenced on 26 May with the message: “Islam: Got questions? Get answers”. This is disarming and brilliant marketing.

His second billboard “Jesus: Prophet of Islam” was more confronting and attracted more outrage than outreach. City Bible Forum responded with an Aussie Christians web site and launched a series of billboards commencing with “Dear Aussie Muslims: Glad you want to talk about Jesus. Love to chat more”. Founder Ian Powell announced that there will be four more billboard messages, changing every week.

At the time of writing this piece, his invitation for a friendly and respectful online chat has only attracted one Muslim (Zainab) who is single-handedly fielding questions about the divinity of Jesus from ten Christians.

This is a modest start that has been bogged down in selective citations from the Gospels to verify if Jesus was a prophet or God. It has shifted from conversations to conversions.

The intention of MyPeace was to “build bridges and extend a hand”, using Jesus as a common plank. With that intention, the billboard should have read:
“Jesus and Mary are holy to Muslims”. Relegating Jesus to a string of prophets was a premature trump card that has toppled the delicate discourse.

The message was akin to telling Muslims that Mohamad was at best a warrior for monotheism, or at worst a false prophet.

For Christians, the Nicene Creed declares the pillars of the faith. God is our Father, and Jesus was his “only begotten son”, who rose from the crucifixion after three days in accordance with the scriptures. The trinity, divinity and resurrection of Jesus are not optional endings. They are the core and climax of the faith, and testified as truth by the disciples whose eye-witness accounts are the four gospels.

For Muslims, the faith is summarised on the MyPeace and GainPeace websites. They quote from Saheeh (meaning ‘truth’) International, who have translated the Koran. This publishing house was formed by “three American converts to Islam” in 1989, and the impressive work of these female scholars has been extensively used for Da’wah (invitation or call to Islam) campaigns.

All these sites declare that “Monotheism is the foundation of Islam and its most important concept which cannot be compromised in any way… God is the only true deity and He alone is worthy to be worshipped… He is absolute”. With this interpretation, Christians are not monotheistic, so let us not beat about the burning bush – there is no happy medium or ‘compromise’.

MyPeace has as much right to pursue its mission as any Christian evangelical mission in Australia. Their American-style banners are a refreshing change to the banner headlines that equate Muslims with violence and hatred, rather than peace and love. They open up the conversation from us talking about them, to direct dialogue. It is a well overdue process of rehumanising the other and replacing the enigma with clarity.

Their illuminated billboards are an open invitation that show there is nothing to hide. This is a stark contrast to the Howard government’s ‘Be alert, not alarmed’ billboards in 2002 that created suspicion and division. Ironically, the buses that were feared to be targets of terrorism are now the targets of the MyPeace posters.

There are two big BUTS.

The billboards, banner headlines and online chats are two dimensional. Pseudonyms can hide behind banners and screens. The bottom line must move from “love to chat more” to “let’s have a coffee”. It needs to progress from FaceBook to meeting face to face. Otherwise the bridge will be virtual rather than real.

The dialogue must be about asking questions and listening to answers. It cannot spiral into a preaching forum on a chat room. If the intention is to convert, this must not be disguised as converse. Otherwise the opportunity is lost, and APN Outdoors will have won two new clients.

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Ironies in Jesus’s crucixion

Crucixion Ironies

Published in The Advertiser on 22 April 2011
http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/ipad/wakim-ironies-in-jesuss-crucifixion/story-fn6br25t-1226043079362

THERE was a terrible connection between Jesus’s trade and his torture, writes Joseph Wakim.

THE most tragic death in human history hides an ironic twist.

Two millennia ago, Jesus of Nazareth was charged for treason, mocked as King of the Jews, then crucified.

But the chilling connection between his trade and his torture is as twisted as his crown of thorns.

“Isn’t this the carpenter, the son of Joseph and Mary?” narrates the gospel of Mark.

The major tools of a Jewish carpenter would have been wood, hammer and nails – the exact tools of his crucifixion!
As if the false accusations were not enough. As if the betrayal by his closest friends was not enough. As if the death sentence was not enough.

But to add vinegar to the bitter experience, this carpenter was to see his beloved tools of construction transformed into the weapons of his destruction.

As a guitar player who loves to compose beautiful music, and polish every part of my instruments, this would be as cruel as hanging me by my strings and forcing me to swallow plectrums.
At the time of this crucifixion, Jesus could have been condemned to many other forms of capital punishment.

He could have been thrown into a snake den, stoned like Mary Magdalene, trampled by horses, beheaded by a sword, burned at the stake or fed to a lion’s den. The intention of this public torture was ostensibly to terrorise onlookers and deter crime.

The Romans inflicted this on non-citizens and slaves as the most dishonourable death imaginable, and historians depict the naked
shame as even more humiliating than Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ.

However, criminals who were Roman citizens were spared this slow agony and sentenced to swift decapitation instead.
Crucifixions were executed for 10 centuries, commencing with the Persians about 600 BC then finally outlawed by Roman emperor Constantine in 337 AD, before he himself converted to Christianity.

With the condemned criminal forced to carry the cross, another loaded layer had to be shouldered by this carpenter.
Imagine his relationship with that wooden cross. He would have appreciated its texture and identified the original tree.

Historians suggest that it was an olive tree, which compounds the pain as olive branches were waved to welcome him into Jerusalem on “Palm Sunday”.
It was the Mount of Olives where he sought solace and prayed before being apprehended. Now this scent of a sanctuary would become the pillar of his persecution.
Upon this wood, the carpenter would bleed, weep, embrace, until its total weight would fall upon him, and he would be crushed by his craft.

Even the nails that were used to pin his bloody body were literally twisted. As if the humiliation was not enough, the iron nails were removed and re-used for subsequent crucifixions, to cut costs that should not be wasted on criminals.

Imagine a carpenter who admired perfect nails watching as crooked and infected tools pierced his limbs.

When my late wife had endured so much suffering in her last weeks during Lent, she would reflect on the pain and injustice inflicted upon Jesus to lighten her load.

Indeed, the woes of our world wash away into insignificance.